The Book of Hurt
by ZashleySilver
Summary: Troypay, minor Jaypay. Summery inside. Epilouge up now! COMPLETE! xoxo Jenna
1. AN & summery

**Summery:** troy is introduced to a website someone from East High created. No one knows who, though. But there's only one thing on the site: poems. Poems that this mysterious person wrote themselves, saying they were based on true accounts. They call the collection of poems "The Book of Hurt". Then, there's a short story to explain how the poems came to be; their story of inspiration and creation. And troy recalls these happenings himself; because the other person in the stories IS him. He just doesn't know who the other person involved is. Or does he? 

Now, I want to make this very clear. The poems in this story are true. They were created by me, as well as "The Book of Hurt". There is a real "Book of Hurt" out there. And how the poems came to be in this story is how they did in the real world. I just needed to change the names to make it fit here, and so no one's true identity from the original "Book of Hurt" was released. So the poems in, and "The Book of Hurt" itself is copyrighted by Jenna, 2007.

thanks


	2. I Already Made That Mistake

Troy was sitting in his room, watching videos on Youtube. He was in the middle of watching a video in a series of his favorite real life couple–Zashley-when an IM popped up. He was surprised at first, because he forgot that he had singed on to AIM. But then he remembered no one was on for a long time, so he must have forgotten. So he clicked on the blinking box on the toolbar to see who wanted to talk. It was Jason.

thejockercard: heyy Troy

Troy typed back.

Bball4lifeboy: heyy jas what's up?

thejockercard: have u checked out that new site?

Bball4lifeboy??? what new site?

thejockercard: u haven't seen it yet!? The one w/the poems & stuff?

Bball4lifeboy: no.

thejockercard: omg! Here's the link! dude you've GOT 2 check it out! Some kid from East High made it! everybody's on it! its so kool!

Bball4lifeboy: ok ok I'm checking it out!

Troy clicked on the link. A moment later, another tab opened to the site. The background color of the site looked like it had dark gray, light gray, clear, and blue mixed all together. it was an amazing color. There was a single tear or rain drop, troy couldn't tell, that was paused on the screen as it touched a surface and went in all different directions. That was pretty cool too.

Troy noticed there was only one thing to click on the site. It was pure silver.

enter 

Considering there was nothing else to do, troy clicked the button. It was the same background, only now a photo of a book cover appeared. It was obviously life sized, yet so small. It was a midnight blue, with silver writing at the bottom of the cover.

The Book of Hurt

In the bottom right hand corner, there was a silver arrow. Troy clicked on it. It "turned" the page of the online book for him. the cover disappeared, and on the cool colored background more silver words appeared. Troy read them.

Summers can change everyone,

even your best friend.

So you should spend every moment

with this friend,

so that we can see these changes,

and learn how to cope with them,

so that we don't end up losing someone

who you could have spent the rest

of your life with,

I already made that mistake.

Troy was amazed. Someone from East High, his own school, made this. They wrote this poem, they created this book, they created this site, and they amazed everyone. Troy couldn't remember ever reading a thing deeper than this. It was moving, it was touching, it was breath-taking.

Suddenly, in the top right corner of the page said a small phrase in black letters: "How this came to be". Troy clicked on this, and the poem disappeared. In it's new place came a large paragraph in light shinny blue color.

I'd like to tell you all how this poem came to be. It was the morning of my first year of my senior year at East High. I didn't really want to start school again, until I remembered him. he was the only thing that kept me going. Last school year, he was my best friend in the entire world. We were so close. But I didn't see him all summer long. I stayed home while he went to camp. So I got to school as fast as I could, just wanting to see my best friend once again. He wasn't in my homeroom this year, but I saw him sitting in my first period class. my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't believe that after three months of separation, I still felt that bond between us. And I thought it would never leave. Until he spoke.

He changed. He changed completely. He acted so differently. He acted like he's a big shot. He was never like that before. He called every girl beside me "Babe". And I was the only one last year who he called by that name. And he acted like out friendship last year never existed. And that hurts. More than anyone really knows. That's why I made this sight. I wanted to let you all know about how someone really feels at East High when things change, through poem.

I'll try to add more everyday. And knowing who the boy I thought was my best friend turned into now, that might not be too hard.

Wow. That's all troy could think. Wow. This was . . . he couldn't even think of a word to describe it. Beautiful seems best though. Then he remembered something. A few months ago it was September; the first day of school within it. And he remembered how he had called every girl he knew "babe", just like in the story. But he also remembered not calling one girl it. But he couldn't remember who that girl was. He remembered having a girl best friend the previous year, and then not seeing her all summer because . . . he went to camp. Was this story about him? Was he the boy in this "Book of Hurt"? And who was the girl who wrote this? And could he make up for all the pain he might have caused her?


	3. I'm Done

The next day when Troy arrived at school, he heard everyone talking, and only barely making out a few of the words that escaped the many lips that moved in the building. 

"Did you read the first poem?"

"Who the hell do you think wrote it?"

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life."

"I can't wait for more."

Those were just some of the spoken thoughts troy was hearing from his peers.

He spent the whole day agonizing over who could have possibly made this, and if it any way involved him.

During lunch, he was so confused from thinking so much that he accidentally sat at the table where the drama kids normally sat. three people were already sitting there, amazed and confused as to my Troy the basketball boy was sitting at THEIR table: Kelsi, Ryan, and Sharpay.

Troy didn't realize this. He just started playing with his corn with his spoon.

"Umm, Troy?" a small voice asked quietly. He turned his head up to see Sharpay; a concerned look on her face and in her eyes.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"A-are you alright?" she asked.

"Just dandy." Troy said with a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

" Troy, I know something's wrong. Please tell me." she said.

"God Sharpay! I'm just fine! Quit bugging me alright!?" he said. It came out different than any of the four there would have thought it would. Troy picked up his lunch tray in frustration, and walked down the steps to sit with his friends. Sharpay lowered her head in defeat.

* * *

Later that day, troy was in his room working on his homework. Math to be exact; trigonometric ratios. He never understood any of this. He would have called Gabriella for help, but he hadn't really seen her in a few days. She wasn't at lunch that day. But he knew she WAS around. She just seemed . . . invisible.

He decided to take a break from his homework and check out a few things online. So he got up from his bed where he had just been, and walked over and sat down in the chair that allowed him to face his computer. He didn't know what to look up, until his fingers seemed to be typing a site into the address bar by themselves. When troy clicked "Go" with the mouse, he was brought to a familiar site.

One with a background color that he loved, a book that could never leave his mind, a story to explain, and a feeling that he didn't know what it was, but could never shake away.

He clicked on the familiar "enter" line, and then felt a strange sensation hit him once the midnight blue book with silver writing appeared in front of him. almost like . . . a magical feeling.

Anyway, he clicked the familiar silver arrow. The first poem in the book was there. But then, troy saw something on the page today that he didn't the day before. There was another silver arrow. He clicked it, and a new poem in the same silver writing appeared.

I'm done.

I tried to learn, I tried to cope.

But whenever I try, I just lose hope.

You lie and don't say,

when things aren't ok.

And then we are both in pain.

You don't need me,

so I'll just leave.

I'll be replaced in your life,

maybe even in your heart.

It'll take so much to prove I'm back.

And remember, because of you,

I'm Done. 

Troy finished reading the poem. He wanted to know how the girl wrote it. so he clicked that "How this came to be" button. Another paragraph took the place of the latest poem.

_Hey everyone. I hope you liked my latest poem. But mostly, I hope you felt and understood how I might have felt. _

_He was in pain. I could tell. I didn't know why, but I just knew. _

_And he denied it. He said he was fine. But I knew he was lying. _

_This time last year if he was in pain, I'd know why before anyone else. I still know when, I just don't know why. Because he pushed me away, I might never know. And now it's becoming frustrating to keep on trying to get him back. It's too hard. So I'm just giving up. I don't think we can ever regain what we lost. I just also hope he feels the pain I feel as well. And if he doesn't, then I know that I'm done. _

Troy didn't know what to do now. This still sounded like he was the guy in "The Book of Hurt". But who was the girl?


	4. I Don't Need Signs

The next day, troy was slowly walking home from school. All day he was thinking about the "Book of Hurt" mystery. Who was the girl who did all of this? Was Troy himself involved somehow? Why was this girl cursed with a life like this? 

Suddenly, Troy passed a large brick wall. He saw that there was graffiti on it from the quick glance he gave it, but just continued on his way. Until he stopped. He walked a few steps backwards to be next to the graffiti wall again, and turned to face it. What was on it he couldn't believe it.

Made from hot pink spray paint, someone wrote the word "BEST" in a heart. But a line was connected from each letter with a word, well really a name.

From the B, there was the name " Bolton".

From the E, there was the name "Evans".

From the S, there was the name "Sharpay".

From the T, there was the name " Troy".

And under the letter-name connections, there read "Troy Bolton and Sharpay Evans show the world how love never fades away".

Troy couldn't believe it! who wrote it!? probably Sharpay. God, she really needs to get a life.

After Troy ranted to himself, he ran home. He turned on his computer to check out "The Book of Hurt." He did the routine to get to the mystery girl's latest poem.

Signs.

Always together, and never

apart,

yet there's no room for me in your

sweet heart.

Together paired, but I don't

care.

at least I thought we were.

Are these really signs?

Signs to you or sings to me?

Which of us needs them?

Whatever.

I don't need signs. 

By now Troy was a little shocked. Was that graffiti a sign that he should end up with . . . Sharpay?! Naw, that stuff never happens in real life. Troy clicked on the button, getting an explanation in return.

_Hey people. This one I had to add to "The book of Hurt" because it's a little scary. I'm always with him. He's my partner for most of my class, and I sit next to him in all of them. Except homeroom. And lunch. Those are the only time's we're apart. And it scares me. I wonder if I should try to get him back. But I still feel like I shouldn't, after all that's happened. But some people say he and I show how you never stop loving or something like that. I just wonder how he feels about it. About me. about us. _

Who was she? was all Troy thought about for thre rest of the day. He had to, NEEDED to, find out who this girl was. He had to.


	5. Not Me Anymore

She saw him. She saw Troy. He was with a bunch of girls who were at his locker. One of them got shoved into a locker by another one of the girls. And troy asked her if she was ok. He was nice. 

She saw Troy walking down the hall in her direction. Because she was starring at him, she didn't see the girl in who was basically in front of her. They crashed. They fell. And Troy ran over, helping up the _other_ girl, asking if she was ok. He was caring.

She later saw Troy sitting next to this girl Cindy in geometry. It was her birthday, and troy handed her a chocolate cupcake. He was sweet.

She saw Troy sitting with Grace, the school's ultra-tomboy. They were in the gym, passing the basketball.

"So guess what he said after that?" troy said, laughing. Erin was laughing as well.

"What?"

"I hate your funky Ax guts!" he and Grace started cracking up. And she saw them. He was joking.

She then saw him walking down the sidewalk with Gabriella. They were talking and smiling. When they stopped at a street intersection, troy hugged her. He liked.

Once seeing that action of Troy's she remembered a moment from January. Troy had kissed Gabriella on the cheek. He loved.

With tears streaming down her face, she ran home.

Once home, she started up on her computer, and typed something onto her site. And she knew Troy would see it there.

Troy walked into his room after walking home with Gabriella, and turned on his computer. He wasn't quit sure why Gabriella had wanted to walk home with him. It's not like they were dating or anything. Troy thought they were just good friends.

He typed in the letters that would bring him to that dramatic, poetic site that was on his mind day in and day out.

The site came up. Troy went to the latest poem.

Your nice to them, but not to

me.

Your sweet to them, but not to

me.

You joke with them, but not with me

me.

You care for them, but not for

me.

You like them, but not

me.

You might even love them.

Never will you love me.

Not to me, not for me, not with me, not me 

. . . anymore. 

Troy was intreaged with this one's explanation.

_Hi everyone. This one is pretty simple. I saw him being nice to other girls. I saw him being sweet to other girls. I saw him joking with other girls. I saw him caring for other girls. And I saw him liking other girls. He never did any of that stuff to me for me or with me or anything related to me. And I think I even saw him love another girl. And he'll never love me again, no matter how much I try to get him back. He's moved on. _

Not only did troy now want to find this girl to see if this had anything at all to do with him, he wanted to find this girl to help her. She obviously needed it. And maybe she'd come to him.


	6. You Have No Trouble Replacing Me

It was the next day. Troy, Chad, Sharpay were in a group for an English assignment. They had to ask each other about their favorite things from previous school years. 

"Ok, Troy," Chad said. "Who was your best friend in . . . freshman year?" he asked.

"Umm . . . Chad!" troy and Chad laughed.

"Sophomore year?" Chad asked.

" Chad!!!" they laughed again. Sharpay was just anticipating what Troy's answer for junior year, last year, would be. Because she knew even if he said otherwise that it was her.

"Ok. All I needed to know." Chad said. Sharpay's eyes widened in panic. "Moving on . . ."

"No!" Sharpay blurted. Troy and Chad looked at her strangely. "I-I mean, what about j-junior year? You d-did the other high school years." She said, stuttering from embarrassment and fear.

"What about junior year?" troy asked, shifting in his seat.

Sharpay took a deep breath. She had a scary feeling that she might cry in front of troy and Chad in the middle of English class. "Who was your best friend last year?" she asked. Troy starred into her chocolate colored eyes for a long time. He didn't know why she seemed the way she did.

" Chad . . ." troy said, his voice trailing off. There was an odd connection between Troy and Sharpay just then. It was almost like Troy could see her hurting, but didn't realize it. Or he might have, but didn't understand why or what about. But one thing was for sure, Sharpay was hurt. More than anyone, maybe even Ryan, should ever know. Chad had taken her place.

Sharpay just nodded, and let her head drop. She never said a word, or even show her face for the rest of the class.

If she spoke, people would hear her choked up and raspy voice. If she showed her face, people could see her puffy red eyes and red face.

Troy felt a little concerned. Why was she like this? Should he even care?

He realized he should when he saw, almost in slow motion, a tear drop from Sharpay's face onto her notebook paper.

* * *

Later that night, troy had been waiting for Sharpay to go online to talk to her about English class. When she finally did, he took no time to ask her.

Bball4lifeboy: heyy Sharpay

Sparklez99: o hi troy

Bball4lifeboy: r u ok?

Sparklez99: yes

Bball4lifeboy: no u aren't. I saw you crying in english. Please tell me what's wrong

Sparklez99: . . .you wouldn't understand. No one would

Bball4lifeboy: try me

Sparklez99: no! stop Troy

Bball4lifeboy: ugg fine.

Bball4lifeboy: hey have you seen that web site with that book of poems? "The Book of Hurt"?

Sparklez99: no

Sparklez99: I g2g

Sharpay said those two lines and singed off in less than half a minute.

"Interesting . . ." troy thought aloud.

He decided to check out the "Book of Hurt". So he typed in the site and click! He was there, reading the girl's latest poem.

You can always replace things:

You can replace cars.

You can replace clothes.

You can replace lightbulbs.

You can replace homes.

You can replace pens.

You can replace toys.

You can replace keys.

And apparently,

You have no trouble replacing 

me.

Who was replacing the mystery girl? Was what troy was thinking as he checked the inspiration thing.

_Hi. This one really kind of depresses me. In school, we had to say who our best friend last year was. And he told me his. And he didn't say my name. Even though that's what he was supposed to say. He said some stupid other kid who I KNOW he wasn't "best friends" with last year. I was. That other kid took my place. I was replaced. He replaced me, without any trouble at all. No matter how much I cried. _

Troy felt scared. That sounded EXACTLY like Sharpay was today. Was this mystery girl her? _I-it can't be_, troy told himself. _You were never best friends with Sharpay. And she doesn't love you. No. it's someone else._


	7. I Thought I Loved You

**Heyy everyone! Sorry I haven't updated this in like a bajillion years! Blame it all on the writers block!!! Anyway, here is the next chapter. Please, don't hate Chad! You'll see why I said this in a minute, and when you do, remember it!! jenna **

* * *

Troy was walking into school today, when he heard someone call his name. He turned around and saw Chad running towards him. 

"Whoa, dud, where's the fire?" Troy asked when Chad, who was panting heavily, finally reached him.

"You . . . are not . . . gonna . . . believe this!" Chad said in between breaths.

"Darbus moved to Madagascar?!" Troy laughed. Chad shook his head, a huge smile on his face.

"I wish. But this is even BETTER!" Chad said.

"Whoa, for you too think something is better than Darbus moving must be pretty damn good! Spill, man!" Troy said, smiling as well.

"Well, this is better in the sense that it's juicier and is like one of the biggest secrets to come out in like years!" Chad said.

" Chad, tell me already!" Troy said.

"Ok," Chad said, taking a deep breath. "Sharpay liked you."

Troy froze. He didn't blink, he almost didn't breathe. He had a mildly shocked expression on his face; he was too shock to show so much emotion.

"I found out from Taylor who found out from Martha who found out from Jason who found out from Kelsi who was told by Ryan! Sharpay TOTALLY used to like you! From like, preschool! In fact, Ryan had said that she was actually in love with you. She LOVED you, Troy!"

Troy still didn't do anything. He had to be dreaming, because this didn't seem possible or real.

"Did you hear me, Troy?" Chad asked. "The Ice Princess actually LOVED you! How stupid and messed up and crazy is THAT?!" Chad chuckled.

Troy finally blinked, and took in a deep breath. What was he supposed to say? How were you supposed to answer your best friend telling you the girl you've known forever who might be the girl with the website and the poems feeling so much obvious hurt that you want to help desperately and might be starting to fall for was in love with you!?

"Yeah," was all Troy could manage. "Totally stupid and uh, yeah."

At the moment, Sharpay and Ryan walked by Chad and Troy.

"Hey Troy look, it's the Ice Princess! Maybe we should give her a sign-up sheet for the 'I'm in love with Troy' club!" Chad said loudly.

Sharpay stopped dead in her tracks. She slowly turned to face the two jocks. Ryan turned too, scared he'd get in trouble.

"Excuse me?" Sharpay asked, with less attitude than normal.

"Sharpay, we all know how much you like Troy-boy. And FYI, he'll never be with you. You're just another crazy, stupid and weird fan-girl who's so dumb they think they actually have a chance with Troy. But you're just and Ice Princess. And Ice Princesses like you don't end up with Basketball King like Troy. So just don't even try." Chad said.

" Chad," Troy said, knowing what his friend just said was not cool. He looked at Chad, who had a satisfying grin on his face. Then he turned to look at Ryan. Ryan's eyes were wide, and his jaw had dropped. He looked angry and worried at the same time. Then, simultaneously, all three boys looked at Sharpay.

Her big brown eyes were glistening with tears; her lips were separated a bit from shock just like Ryan; and her body seemed to be trembling. Troy had never felt guiltier in his life.

"Sharpay," he breathed, but at that Sharpay ran away from them into the school, and all the way you could hear her sobs.

"I cannot believe you two," Ryan said. "I thought we were all friends now! Some friends you are, assholes." And at that, Ryan ran inside the school to comfort his twin.

"Why the hell did you do that Chad?!" Troy shouted.

" Troy, you can't afford to ever in some form be with Sharpay Evans. She'd ruin you're social status. Plus, that was payback for everything she's ever done to us!" Chad said. " Troy, you can't tell me that she's never done some horrible things to us."

"Fine, I won't lie Chad, Sharpay did some bitchy things in the past; in the _past_. But ever once, did she make you cry? Did she make any of us cry? Did she ever break out hearts?" Troy demanded. Chad just lowered his head. "Did she?!"

"No," Chad mumbled.

"Exactly! And she's been trying to be better! And you come out of nowhere and are a complete JACKASS! And now, she hates me as well as you! And Chad, if she really _did_ like me, how do you know she STILL DOES?!" Chad was silent, his head still down. "That's wasn't cool, man. That was down right messed up. And now, we've lost her! And probably Ryan!"

"Chill, I'm sorry Troy, I was just-" Chad began.

"Hurting a girl so badly you made her cry." Troy said. He then turned on his heal and stormed into his school.

* * *

That entire day, Troy avoided everyone. Chad, Ryan, everyone. The only person he was actually looking for never seemed to be anywhere, probably because she was avoiding him. 

So when Troy came home, he dropped his backpack to the floor and stormed up his stairs to his room.

He sat down at his computer, knowing he'd be reading a new poem. And he was right.

**You must think I'm stupid.**

**You must think I'm dumb. **

**You must think I'm weird. **

**You must think I'm lying. **

**You must think I'm kidding. **

**You must think I'm messed up **

**You must think I'm crazy, **

**And why's all this? **

**Because **

**I thought I loved you. **

_I'm really too emotional right now to explain how this poem was created. I'm just giving you all a piece of advice: don't believe people when they say they're your friend. Because if you do, they'll break your heart. _

* * *

Troy felt like beating the crap out of himself. He had to be the most stupid, oblivious boy in the galaxy. Because at this moment for the first time, Troy knew that the author of "The Book of Hurt" was Sharpay Evans. 


	8. I Thought Wrong

**Heyy everyone! Sorry I haven't updated this in like a bajillion years! Blame it all on the writers block!! Anyway, here is the next chapter. xoxo Jenna **

* * *

Troy didn't know what to do. He was sitting in the abandoned gym the next day, pondering everything. He could not believe it was Sharpay. Ever since this whole "Book of Hurt" thing got started, he had felt for this girl. He felt so sorry that she felt such pain and agony. And he wanted to do something about it; help her, hurt whoever was hurting her, make her feel cared about. Because over time, as Troy read another poem, he actually fell more in love with this girl. He now wanted to know her; everything about her. He never thought it was someone her actually knew though. He never thought this girl would be someone right under his nose. But I guess Troy thought wrong.

He heard the big metal doors open, which followed with the unusual sound of heals clicking on the sparkling wood floor. Troy turned around to see Sharpay.

"Sharpay?" he asked. She hadn't noticed him, and was scared to see him there.

"What are you doing here?" she asked nervously. Troy stood up and walked over to her.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." he said.

"I come in her sometimes," she confessed. "When no one's in here, I mean. It always seems so big when you're here by yourself. And even though it's pin drop quiet, it seems so loud. Like the silence is screaming at you . . . sorry, I must seem crazy." she apologized.

"No. you sound like a girl who knows so much; who feels so much more than anyone." Troy said, gazing into her eyes.

"But that's not why I'm here now," Sharpay said quickly. "I'm meeting someone. And I didn't know you'd be here."

"Maybe I'm the person that you should be meeting," Troy said, not knowing why he was acting so strangely around her right now. It was almost like he was . . . flirting with her.

"Uh, no, it's um-" before she could finish, the big metal doors opened, and the light from the hall gleamed into the dim gym **(A/N: haha that rhymes!!)**. A boy was walking over towards them. As he got closer, Troy realized that it was Jason.

"Hi Troy," he said, happily surprised, as he stood beside Sharpay.

"Hi Jase," Troy said, a little confused.

Jason smiled and put an arm around Sharpay's waist. "And hello to you too, beautiful." He said, planting a small kiss on her lips.

Ok, NOW Troy was confused. Why the HELL was his teammate kissing Sharpay and calling her beautiful? Well, she was beautiful . . . but that was beside the point.

The two pulled away, Sharpay smiling and biting her lip. She turned to Troy. "Troy, Jason and I are dating; he's my boyfriend." She nodded, and walked out of the gym with Jason.

But Troy stayed. He was too in shock to move. Sharpay? Dating Jason? He didn't know why this was bothering him. This is Sharpay we're talking about! Troy wasn't supposed to care about Sharpay like this. But then what was this . . . horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach? Jealousy, the voice in his head told him, but he shook the thought away. Why would he, Troy can-get-any-girl-he-wants Bolton, want Sharpay has-a-new-stupid-boyfriend Evans?

And then a thought came to Troy's head. She seemed happy with Jason. The "Book of Hurt" author wasn't happy, but pained. Maybe Sharpay wasn't the "Book of Hurt" girl.

Troy could only hope.

* * *

But his hope was a bit strong, or maybe it was his ego. But anyway, he felt so confident that Sharpay wasn't involved with the "Book of Hurt", that he actually made plans for that night; he wasn't going to be sitting at his computer at home reading another poem. But if he had, then troy would have realized that he thought wrong.

**You're not my first**

**I ALWAYS thought you would**

**I've got someone new**

**Soon, you will too**

**We'll have someone else**

**Not each other**

**I always thought **

**That you'd be my first;**

**That we'd be together;**

**Forever**

**Well, looks like**

**I though wrong.**

_Hey readers. I've got some good news, and some bad news. The good: I've got myself a new boyfriend! I'm 17, and I haven't had one since I was 14. He's really nice and sweet, and really cares about me. And the bad news: it's not the boy I want. Don't get me wrong; I really, really like my boyfriend. But he's not the boy who all of these poems are about; he's not the one who inspired "The Book of Hurt". But I guess if it was, there wouldn't be anymore "Book of Hurt". Maybe it's for the better. But part of my heart still thinks it's for the worse._


	9. Listen to the Words

**_PLEASE READ!!_**

**Heyy everyone! Sorry I haven't updated this in like a bajillion years! Blame it all on the writers block!! Anyway, this is the last chapter! I'll be posting the epiloge as soon as I can. Thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewd and read the story!! I recomend listening to Miley Cyrus's new song "Goodbye" (which I'm totally in love with right now) while you read. And FYI - this part didn't really happen. This has been Takign a logn time, and I want to finish it so I can add more stuff. And i was planning on stopping at 10 chapters anyway. thanks again!! xoxo Jenna **

* * *

Troy felt good. For the first time in weeks, ever since the whole affair started, he felt good. He didn't feel worried, or scared, or stressed, or anything. He didn't care about this girl anymore. Why should he? She'd probably end up being some outcast freshman girl, and why should Troy care about that?

He did feel a little something though: he felt a little jealous. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he felt jealous of Jason.

Jason was dating Sharpay. Sharpay! But what did Troy care about Sharpay?

That thought made Troy stop in his tracks. What did he care about Sharpay? What did he think about Sharpay? What was Sharpay to him? Trying to think of an answer, Troy, who had been reading magazines on his bed, took out his yearbook. It may have been from last year, but he suspected it might be similar.

He flipped to the page that her picture in it. She was smiling that special smile of hers, her lips lightly glossed. Her hair was wavy and just left down, her bangs swept to the side. She actually wasn't wearing any makeup; this actually made her eyes pop out more than the makeup ever did.

Troy found himself mesmerized by her picture. How sweet her smile was; how alluring her eyes were; how she just looked so different then how she used to come off to people. Troy looked closely at her picture. There was something about her eyes; there was something in them. But Troy just didn't know what. But they weren't shinning that much. Come to think of it, they hadn't been shinning their usual shine in a very long time.

Curious, Troy looked to see if Sharpay had signed her yearbook. Sure enough, she did, and it was an odd message.

_**Hi Troy**_

_**Look at pages 25, 18, & 44**_

_**Sharpay **_

Troy didn't understand, and hoped whatever was on these pages would explain. So he turned to page 25. All that was on it were candid photos. He searched for one he thought Sharpay might be referring to, and couldn't find anything until the next to last photo.

It was of Sharpay, just her alone, sitting on the floor in the hallway. She was hugging her knees close to her chest, and her head was drooped. Troy could just barely make out her facial expression, and it was not a happy one.

Page 18 hopefully would make sense to Troy, seeing as how the last one totally did not. Again, just a bunch of random candids. He searched for a photo, but never found it. He did though dwell on one photo that had him in it. He, Chad, and the rest of the team was all going wild in the halls, other students joining them. Troy smiled as he remembered, but the smile soon faded. He noticed a part of the picture he hadn't seen before. Jason wasn't joining in the merriment. He had a concerned look to someone who wasn't in the group; a girl who looked very depressed and scared who was leaning against the wall and away from everyone else. It was Sharpay.

Whoa. Had Jason noticed Sharpay before Troy just learned they were dating? Had they once had some sort of connection? A bond, or even a friendship? Wow. Scary thought.

Troy turned to the last page, number 44. It was a page with photos students brought in just for the theme of it: "Wildcats through the Ages." It was a bunch of pictures of the students when they were younger and growing up. Troy's mother made him bring in a picture of him and Chad when they were four years old and were playing basketball. He froze when he saw a photo he hadn't seen in eight years.

It was of him. He and the other person in the photo, both only nine years old, were in Troy's backyard one summer day. They were both laughing heartily, and Troy had the other person tightly in his embrace as he lifted them off of the ground. Growing up, that had been his best friend. The other person in the picture was Sharpay.

Troy put the book down and laid back. He was trying to pull a Blues Clues moment, putting all the three clues together.

"Let's see," he thought out loud. "First it was of Sharpay being sad, then it was Jason noticing she was sad, then an old picture of us when we were friends and happy." Once he said that last word, it all made since.

Sharpay has always been sad. She felt pain that some people wouldn't understand. And they didn't understand because they never noticed her, not even Troy. But Jason noticed her. And maybe that's why she's now with him. And the reason she was sad…was because…was because Troy had forgotten their friendship.

Without giving it a second thought, Troy ran out of his room, and then grabbed his coat before racing out of his house.

* * *

As Troy drove way past the speed limit late that night, his phone started to vibrate. He took it to see that some number that he didn't had sent him a text. So he pulled over to the side of the deserted road. Using the only thing he had to read, the light from the streetlamp, he was surprised at what he got.

_Troy – Check out the Book of Hurt. I think you'll be surprised._

Curious, Troy closed the text and brought up the internet on his iPhone. He went to the bookmarked website and read the new poem.

**Listen to the words**

**They speak to my heart**

**It's heartbreaking**

**Maybe that's why I enjoy it**

**I'm also heartbroken**

**Those words touch my soul**

**And so do you**

**He knows how I feel**

**And he's giving me a chance at true love**

**He's giving me a chance to be with you**

**I want that chance**

**But I know you don't**

**Listen to the words**

**They speak of my fears and dreams**

**I feel that hurt**

**Make it better**

**Remember **

**Listen to the Words**

_Hi. I recommend listening to Miley Cyrus's new song "Goodbye" after and while you read. I'm sorry to say this, but I think this is the last installment of "The Book of Hurt." And I don't really know how to explain anymore what's going on. So I'm just going to tell you all one last thing to remember me by._

_I love you Troy._

Troy turned off his phone completely and revved up his car. He already knew. He drove and drove and drove, only wanting to get where he needed to be faster. This "Book of Hurt" drama was all too much for him. It had to end.

* * *

Sharpay sat in her room alone, confused.

She and Jason had just broken up. He had come over to take them to a dance club, and seeing her lying on her bed in sweats started up questioning. She had told him the truth; the whole honest truth. She was scared and worried about revealing it, but if Jason really did care about her, then he would try to see how badly she needed to get this off her chest.

And sure enough, Jason showed how much of a friend he was to her. He was going to let her do what needed to be done; even if that meant that they had to be just friends. But best friends, that's for sure. She gave him one last kiss goodbye, and let the tears fall once he closed her bedroom door.

She plopped onto her bed, cuddling with her old big teddy bear. It was actually Grumpy Bear from Care Bears; something an old friend of her gave as a present. She had "Goodbye" on repeat playing in her room, the sound as loud as it could go. She wished Ryan was here to comfort her. But he and his baseball team were all going out in celebration of their latest win. Ryan would be wondering why his sister wasn't there. She had said she'd be there, but she never left her room that night.

Right now, she'd rather sit through her brother's baseball game, or have Chad tell her off, or even drown then be feeling the pain she was feeling. But she had to be strong; she knew she had to deal with it. But Sharpay knew this wasn't everyday pain or hurt feelings. This was almost to the point of depression.

Her cell phone rang suddenly, making her jump. She didn't want to answer it, so she let it just ring and ring. A couple minutes later, she heard it chime to tell her she had a new text. Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and read it.

_I know it's you._

Her door swinging open brought her out of her daze. She gasped quietly when she saw Troy standing there, his cell phone in his hands. Neither of them said, anything; she had slowly gotten off of her bed and advanced slightly towards Troy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Troy asked, breaking the silence.

"Tell you what?" Sharpay sighed, scarred that her tears would start falling.

"That you wrote those poems; that they were about me;" he paused, knowing what he would say next would start a lot of drama, "that you felt all of this."

"Why would you even care, Troy?" Sharpay asked. He had been accepting her to say that, but he thought she'd be screaming and yelling. Instead, she said it barely above a whisper. "You never seemed like you would. Why did you forget, Troy? Why did you forget that we were best friends? All our lives we had been. And then high school started, and you became popular. I was heartbroken that you left me. And then last year, you started being nice to me again, and I-" her voice cracked, and she took this time to whip away her falling tears, "I actually thought we'd have a chance again."

"Sharpay-"

"What about Sharpie?" Sharpay cut him off. "Why is it Sharpay now? I used to be Sharpie. Why did it all change, Troy? Why?"

Troy knew he couldn't answer that. "So is it true?"

"What?"

"That you wrote those poems?"

"Yes."

"And that they're about me?" Troy asked, his hands beginning to sweat.

"Yes," Sharpay's lips trembled.

Troy felt his own eyes begin to water, just seeing the state she was in. Her blonde locks were just put in a messy ponytail and she had no makeup on. She was only wearing grey sweats and a navy blue wife beater. Her normally gorgeous brown eyes were cloudy from tears, which were also cascading down her cheeks like a waterfall. And seeing on her computer screen a different version of the website; one that could only belong to the person who wrote and created it, broke his heart.

"Troy?" Sharpay asked. "Why? Why did you leave me? Were you ashamed of me? What changed us?"

"Listen to me; you are nothing to be ashamed of. You are amazing, Sharpay. I, nor anybody else, could ever be ashamed of you. After all, people do say you're part of the best; you show the world how love never fades away."

"Y-you saw that too?" Sharpay hiccupped. Troy nodded his head.

"I'm sorry Sharpay. I am so, so sorry. When I first heard of all of this, I felt so sorry for whoever wrote The Book of Hurt. And I wanted to find out who it was so I could help them; be there for them. But when I thought it might be you, I didn't know what to do. So I always told myself that it wasn't you. Shar, I want us back. I want us to be best friends again."

"What about your other friends? What about Chad?"

"Screw them! Especially Chad! All I ever care about is you; you're the only thing that's on my mind all the time. Especially since I saw those yearbook pictures and-"

"You saw those?" Sharpay said, trying to whip the tears away that got easily replaced.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Sharpay! I would totally have been there before Jason ever was and I will once he's gone-"

"Troy, he is gone." Troy gave her a confused look. "Jason and I broke up. I told him everything, how I feel about you, and the book, everything. He understood, and we're still good friends, but I couldn't live with myself if I loved a guy who I wasn't with."

"Sharpay? Do you love me?"

Sharpay said nothing for a moment, which was the longest moment of Troy's life.

"Yes," At her answer, Troy opened his arms up. Sharpay gladly accepted them. She ran into his arms and began to cry like no one could. Troy's arms tightly hugged the small girl, and he would run his fingers down her hair and rub her back to help.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I would never want to hurt you, Sharpay. I'm so, so sorry." Troy said, crying himself.

"I missed you Troy! I hated that you left me. That was the worst feeling in the world. I felt like complete shit, Troy! I love you, Troy! I love you!" she said while she cried hysterically.

"I love you too, Sharpie." Troy said. Even though her head was buried into his chest and she was crying, Troy knew she was smiling.


	10. The End

**_PLEASE READ!!_**

**Heyy everyone! Sorry I haven't updated this in like a bajillion years! Blame it all on the writers block!! Anyway, this is the ABSOLUTE last chapter! You all have been SO AMAZING while I was writing this! Thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed and read the story!! **

**I recomend listening to Miley Cyrus's new song "Bottom of the Ocean" (which I'm totally in love with right now) while you read. And FYI - this part didn't really happen. This has been taking a long time, and I want to finish it so I can add more stuff. I've made the mistake of have too many stories going on at once, which I do not recomend. And I was planning on stopping at 10 chapters anyway. **

**thanks again!! xoxo Jenna **

* * *

Sharpay sat on her bed, holding the little blue book. To someone else, it was nothing. To her, it used to be her whole life.

It wasn't very eye-catching. It was just a tiny notebook you could put in the palm of your hand. There was no decoration on the hard indigo cover, except for the small heart Sharpay had put on with red rhinestones.

Inside the tiny book though was every emotion Sharpay had ever felt in poetry form. No one ever knew. She carried it with her everywhere, and it'd not like she even tried to hide it. No one had paid enough attention; no one cared enough. Who would notice the little blue book that the Ice Princess always had?

And then she met Jason. Jason, who was just too cute and adorable to ever be mad at. Jason, who had noticed her when no one else had. Jason, who actually cared about her. Jason, who had actually loved her. She loved him too. But not enough.

She didn't love him enough. She didn't love him enough to be able to forget. She didn't love him enough to be able to move on. She didn't love him enough to not love Troy.

Troy, who had forgotten her. Troy, who joined in as his friends made fun of her for years. Troy, who had made her feel things no person should in their life. Troy, who had once been her best friend. She had been his best friend too. But she guessed back then, she just wasn't enough for him.

She didn't know where she stood now. First, she had been Troy "Golden Boy" Bolton's best friend. Next, she became the Ice Princess, and would stay like that for years. Then she'd just be forgotten. And then she'd be Jason Cross' girlfriend, but still wouldn't be noticed. But now where did she stand?

She didn't know if she and Troy could be best friends again. She loved him to death, but he had just hurt her so many times and so much to fully forgive him now. Maybe over time they'd be friends again. But she just didn't know anymore.

She and Jason were friends, though. She felt so grateful for the way she had told him everything, that she couldn't bear to loose a friend like that. But her breakup with him would play in her head.

-Flashback-

Sharpay had just gotten up from her computer and was now lying on her bed, staring in front of her. What was in front of her was a beautiful ice blue strapless dress with black sequins scattered about it. She was supposed to be wearing it right now. Any minute she'd have to go and wear it, looking beautiful, and dance all night like she didn't have a care in the world. But that was just it: she did have a care in the world.

She had many, really. Maybe too many, because it felt like those cares were abducting her life. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't go out in the world with that fake smile on her face, making it seem like everything was fine. No one noticed if she was smiling or not anymore, anyway. Not even Ryan. Ryan didn't want to deal with all of the drama anymore. But Jason noticed. Of course he would; he was her boyfriend. He loved her. And she loved him…she thought.

Like magic, her bedroom door opened and her gorgeous boyfriend was standing there with a smile. He was wearing a deep red button down and black jeans. On his feet were his basketball sneakers, which she knew he wore all the time, no matter what. And his dark brown, almost black hair was messy; just the way she liked it. But the smile was slowly fading off of Jason's face when he saw that his girlfriend wasn't all dressed up like he was.

"Shar? Why aren't you ready." Sharpay didn't respond; she just kept her gaze at the dress a few meters away from her.

"Sharpay? Are you ok?" Jason asked, concern oozing from his voice. Sharpay turned her gaze towards him, which she wished she hadn't. Seeing him standing there, looking incredibly handsome, and still worried about her, knowing that he loved her, killed her. She could feel the hot tears forming in her eyes.

"Jason," her voice hitched, not able to say anything more. It was all it took for Jason to walk over to her bed and sit next to her, a protective arm around her shoulders.

"Pay, what's wrong?" Jason asked softly. Sharpay looked him dead in they eye; another thing she wish she hadn't done.

She saw too many things in his eyes. She saw compassion; she saw worry; but most of all, she saw love. So much. She only wished she could give it all back to him. She slightly shook her head before burying her head in Jason's chest.

"I'm so sorry!" she sobbed, her words barely audible.

"What could you possibly need to be sorry about, baby?" Jason asked, hugging his crying girlfriend.

"Because I suck!" Sharpay sobbed, a few hiccups going out here and there. "I'm horrible! You're perfect! You're amazing! You care about me, and you noticed me, and you liked me for me, and you loved me! You love me!"

"Of course I love you, Sharpay. I always will." Jason said soothingly.

"I know! That's why I'm horrible! I can't give everything to you!"

Jason tried to find what she meant in all of this. "Do you…not love me?"

"No, I do! I completely love you, Jason! You're one of best people in the whole world, I love you! I do!"

"Then what's wrong?" Jason asked, running his hand through her blonde locks.

"I haven't been truthful to you." Sharpay whispered. "But I want to be; I have to be."

"Ok then. What do you want to be truthful about?"

Sharpay took a deep breath. "You know that website with all those poems? The Book of Hurt?"

"Oh yeah; they're great. Why?"

"…it's me." Sharpay pulled herself away from Jason so that they were looking eye to eye. He looked confused and still worried.

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"I made it. I wrote it. I wrote all of those poems, and I made the website, and I put them online. I'm that girl."

Jason didn't say anything. He tried to let it all soak in as best he could. Sharpay, his girlfriend, was the girl who wrote all of that. Sharpay was the girl who felt all of that.

"You are?" he asked quietly. Sharpay nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Jase. But I didn't want anyone to know, not even Ryan. I was already the Ice Princess. I already was hated and unnoticed. I didn't want to know what else would happen if I let people know. And then you asked me out, and I thought that maybe I wouldn't have to worry about The Book of Hurt anymore; I'd be too happy with you to add more to it. But…I just couldn't do that. I still felt so much pain. But it wasn't from you. It was…"

"It was from the other guy?" Jason finished.

"Yes." Sharpay said, more tears running down her pink cheeks.

"W-who is the other guy?" Jason asked, "You know, the one who you said you loved and hated in all of the poems? Who is it?"

"You'll hate me." Sharpay said, so scared she might break his heart…and her own.

"Sharpay, I promise; no matter what you do or what you say, I'll never hate you. I care about you. I love you." Jason said sincerely.

Sharpay opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Him loving her like this made it too hard for her to tell him. But she didn't need to tell him.

"It's Troy, isn't it?"

Sharpay sighed. "Do you hate me?"

"Sharpay, I told you. Never will I hate you. Like I said: I care about you; I love you. And I want to see you happy. And if Troy makes you happy, then you should be with him. He deserves to know." said Jason, now rubbing little circles on her back.

"I don't know if Troy can make me happy anymore." Sharpay confessed.

"You know he will though. In time."

Sharpay let out a small sob. "So do you really still care about me? After all I've done?"

"Of course. And I'm ok, Shar. Because even though it seems like I am, I'm not really letting you go. I'll never let you go. I'll always love and care for you, Pay. You make me happy. Especially if you're happy. Even if it isn't with me."

"God, this is why it's so hard, Jase! You're so perfect!" Jason let out a chuckle.

"I'll always be around, Sharpay; whenever you need me. Like they say, 'I'll be there for you.'"

Sharpay smiled. "You'll always remember my favorite song, won't you?"

"It's one of the songs of your life." Jason said. Sharpay looked up at him, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"Thank you, Jason." Jason smiled down at the petite girl.

"Always, Pay."

Sharpay leaned up and placed one last soft, sweet, living kiss on Jason's lips. When she pulled away, she smiled. He did too.

"Well, I better get going. Good luck, Shar." Jason said, removing his arm from her, and walking towards her front door.

"Thanks, Jase. I love you." Sharpay said. Jason stopped in front of the open door and looked back at her.

"I love you too. Bye, Sharpay."

"Bye Jason." Sharpay said quietly. He walked out of her room and closed her door. Sharpay stared at where his figure had once been, and then laid down on her bed.

It wasn't goodbye forever. The day that Sharpay Evans and Jason Cross said goodbye forever would never come.

-end flashback-

Sharpay sighed again. She looked at the little book in her hands. She knew she had to part with it. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to forget. She didn't want to forget what she thought, but she had to forget how it felt.

She looked around her room. It was completely empty. There were no pictures handing on the walls. There were no clothes handing in the open closet. There were no magazines and books covering the wood floors. There were no school assignments and do-dads scattered on her desk. There wasn't even a desk. The only piece of furniture left was the bare mattress on the bed frame.

Sharpay took all the emptiness in. she'd never be back here again. Everything in it was gone. And soon, she would be too. It was just the way it had to be. But before, when all of her belongings were comfortably living in it, her room didn't mean much to her. But now, when there was nothing in it, she felt…close to it. Maybe because she had been used to lonely and emptiness. But hopefully that was about to change.

There was a knock on her door and it opened. Troy was standing there, still holding onto the doorknob.

"Ready?" he asked.

Sharpay took a deep breath and sighed it out. "I guess so." She stood up and walked over to the man.

"You nervous?" he asked.

"When aren't I?"

"Don't worry. It'll be great." He said.

"I know. Let's go," she said. Troy nodded and left. Sharpay took one step, but then turned around to look at her room one last time.

She wouldn't be back. She and Troy were moving. Not too far away, though. But there needed to be enough distance between this world she knew and the new one she was about to enter. Between this world and the real world.

She took it all in. this was the room it all started in. This was the room where she ran into and cried all weekend when Troy let it be known they were no longer friends. This was the room where she had written all of those heartbreaking poems when something happened at school. This was the room where she first got that call from Jason asking her out. This was the room where she broke up with her boyfriend and confessed the truth to Troy. Everything happened in this room. The Book of Hurt was born here.

"…And here it shall die," Sharpay thought aloud. She looked at the little book in her hand, and slowly released her grip on it. As she watched it fall, it almost looked like it was falling in slow motion. And when it finally touched the floor, she could feel her heart crack open.

Yes, it killed her to leave behind the one thing that had given her comfort during her hardships, but it had to be done. She could feel a huge weight, like a 500 lbs. one, being lifted off of her slender shoulders.

She could move on. She could now leave this house and drive off with Troy. They were going to find someplace for themselves; where they could try to rebuild their relationship, as serious boyfriend and girlfriend, but mostly as friends. She promised Jason she'd call everyday. And he also made her promise if they had a kid, it'd better be named after him. She laughed, and said yes. But that wouldn't be happening for a long time. After all, she and Troy were still not even eighteen and were leaving against their parent's wishes. But they had to do what was right. And right now, for those two, the only thing that was right was each other.

She looked down at to see the notebook was opened to the last entry she had put in it. She weakly smiled and blew a kiss to the notebook, before closing the door.

What she wrote as her last entry she'd never forget; it wasn't about her and Troy, or her and Jason. It was about the Book of Hurt, and all of the pain that came with it.

**the end.**


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